01Jan/1612:01 AM

Happy New Year!

23Dec/151:15 PM

Electric Car Goes on 200 Miles per Hour Rampage After Being Struck by Lightning


* Nashville - A Smart car caused great turmoil yesterday morning in Tennessee, when it went out of control after being struck by a lightning bolt, causing $250,000 of damage and leaving 8 people injured.*

Martin Jones was driving quietly under the rain in the East Nashville area, when his car was struck by a 120,000 amperes electrostatic discharge, radically supercharging his small electric vehicle’s engine. The Smart car almost instantly reached the incredible speed of 211 miles per hour (or 340 km/h), leading to violent collisions with 5 other vehicles in less than 30 seconds.

Rosie Denver, a neighbour who saw the whole scene, explains that the car could have killed dozens of people.

“It was just unbelievable” says Ms. Denver. “This tiny car was speeding like a Nascar in a residential area, zigzagging between cars and pedestrians. And then… boom! It started crashing through cars, one after the other.”

“All of a sudden, a blinding white light filled the whole car and my whole body went numb” explains Mr. Jones, still shocked by the whole event. “I really tried to break, but my car just went out of control! All I could do was to try to avoid hitting any pedestrians. I have never been so scared in my life!”

His vehicle slightly bumped a first car before literally cutting a second one in half. It continued its rampage by hitting two other cars and violently ramming a minivan carrying four people before it finally stopped.

Despite the popular belief that the rubber in car tires protects the vehicle from being hit by lightning, hundreds of road vehicles are struck every year in North America and dozens of people are injured or shocked.

It is however the first time that a lightning bolt causes such a scary incident involving an electrical vehicle, The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration ordered an investigation to determine if the design of the car could be inherently problematic and vulnerable to such dangers.

When most cars are struck by lightning, the electrical charge flows around the outside of the vehicle, and the majority of the current flows from the car’s metal cage into the ground below. Smart cars are however manufactured out of ultra-grade fiberglass, carbon fiber, and polyurethane composites instead of metal, which impedes electricity’s ability to flow through the car and carried the current to the engine and the driver.

23Dec/151:06 PM

World’s Oldest Homosexual Couple Found in Ancient Ruins of Sodom and Gomorrah


Tell el Hammeh, West Bank | Two 5,000-year old male skeletons unearthed near the city of Tell el Hammeh, in the southern Jordan river valley, could possibly be the world’s oldest known homosexuals in human history.

The ruins that are under excavation by a team of researchers of the University of Tel Aviv believe the ruins are the remnants of the biblical cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, two cities allegedly destroyed by God’s Divine wrath because of the “wickedness and obscure practices” of its population.

The discovery was greeted with much enthusiasm by the team of researchers that hope other similar finds could prove “once and for all” that the ruins are in fact those of the biblical cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.


The professor of archeology was clearly enthused by the discovery.

“I have made my life’s work to discover the location of Sodom and Gomorrah and this could ultimately be the proof I have been looking for all this time” explained the scientist, visibly emotional.

“Sodom and Gomorrah who are reputed for their homosexual sexual practices, and the reason the Bible claims the cities were destroyed, are an important window to understand the culture of the region at that time” he told local reporters.

“Extremely high levels of radioactivity found at the site also denote a major catastrophic event occurred in the region, at levels we cannot explain for the moment, but which are consistent with the biblical account of the destruction of the cities” he admitted.

In the Bible, Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed with brimstone and fire from the LORD because “the men of Sodom [were] wicked and sinners” and “because their sin is very grievous”, a behavior often attributed to the practice of homosexuality by a majority of biblical scholars.

22Dec/1512:59 AM

FDA Approves Ativan Diffuser for all Hospital Units

WASHINGTON, DC – In a closely contested vote, the FDA approved a new medical delivery device this week, the H-Vape 86. It is an Ativan air diffuser that looks like a Vicks Vaporub humidifier, yet it can do much more.

ICU RN Angela Liotta patented the model in 2001. “I’ve been dreaming of this for so many years. I just can’t believe it’s finally approved for use. Now I can quit my day job!” Liotta developed the idea after watching staff’s frustrations with patients in need of benzodiazepines and families barking orders at the nurses station.

The diffuser sits strategically in front of the charge RN of the floor, away from air return ducts. The potency of Ativan is regulated by a dial on the back of the diffuser. As tensions rise such as with yelling patients, high patient to nurse ratios, and patients who persistently press the call button every 5 minutes, the dial may be titrated to effect to produce a stronger vapor pressure.

The approved model is equipped for any combination of medication, says Liotta. “Haldol, Valium, you name it. It is customizable depending on the craziness of patients you have on your ward.” Liotta developed the model while watching the progress of e-cigarette technology. In the future she plans to develop plugins for home use and hookah style for more intimate settings such as the ED fishbowl or hospital staff meetings.

Charge nurse, Greg Wilcox had this to say: “The beauty is two fold. Patients seem to chill out significantly, but even if they don’t, hospital staff’s tolerance for stupidity increases, in effect making things run smoother. I plan to crank that diffuser way up on my nights, that’s a promise!”

Press Ganey scores are projected to soar as everyone just feels a little bit more chillaxed. Administration is leery, however it is projected that many of them will be ditching the suits, donning scrubs and really pitching in on the floors now.

22Dec/1512:43 AM

FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children


Washington | The FDA announced this morning it gave its approval for the marketing release of their new anesthetic dart guns, specifically designed to calm children suffering from ADHD.

The new product is capable of putting a child to sleep in less than 4 seconds and reportedly has no serious long-term effects on the health of children.

These new tools specifically created to assist parents with children suffering from ADHD, have a practical range of approximately 10 to 12 feet (3 to 4 meters) and their effect is meant to last for a period of 4 to 6 hours per injection. The manufacturer advises, however, not to use the gun more than 1 to 2 times daily on the same child in order to prevent the development of a physical addiction to the product.

“With the dramatic rise of ADHD cases, there was a very high demand for this kind of product,” explains Mr. William Murray, the company’s public relations manager.

The organization Mothers against Drugs, qualified these darts as a “very dangerous solution” and has filed an application for review of the decision in court.

“It is simply ridiculous and completely unacceptable to think that we will start shooting our children with guns and injecting them drugs ourselves” says Martha Brown, the vice-president of the organization.

“You might as well use a taser gun while you’re at it” she told reporters during the press conference.

Despite the significant controversy surrounding the release of the product, the product should be available in drug stores around the country this summer.

21Dec/1511:46 AM

Newest U.S. National Park Also Most Polluted Nuke Site


SPOKANE, Wash. – The nation’s most polluted nuclear weapons production site is now its newest national park.

Thousands of people are expected next year to tour the Hanford Nuclear Reservation, home of the world’s first full-sized nuclear reactor, near Richland, about 200 miles east of Seattle in south-central Washington.

They won’t be allowed anywhere near the nation’s largest collection of toxic radioactive waste.

“Everything is clean and perfectly safe,” said Colleen French, the U.S. Department of Energy’s program manager for the Hanford park. “Any radioactive materials are miles away.”

The Manhattan Project National Historic Park, signed into existence in November, also includes sites at Oak Ridge, Tennessee, and Los Alamos, New Mexico. The Manhattan Project is the name for the U.S. effort to build an atomic bomb during World War II.

At Hanford, the main attractions will be B Reactor – the world’s first full-sized reactor – along with the ghost towns of Hanford and White Bluffs, which were evacuated by the government to make room for the Manhattan Project.

The B Reactor was built in about one year and produced plutonium for the Trinity test blast in New Mexico and for the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki, Japan, that led to the surrender of the Japanese.

Starting in 1943, more than 50,000 people from across the United States arrived at the top-secret Hanford site to perform work whose purpose few knew, French said.

The 300 residents of Richland were evicted and that town became a bedroom community for the adjacent Hanford site, skyrocketing in population. Workers labored around the clock to build reactors and processing plants to make plutonium, a key ingredient in nuclear weapons.

The park will tell the story of those workers, plus the scientists who performed groundbreaking research and the residents who were displaced, said Chip Jenkins of the National Park Service, which is jointly developing the park with the Energy Department.

“The intention of the park is to tell the full and complex and convoluted story,” Jenkins said. That story is still being developed, but will certainly include a Japanese perspective, he said.

“What happened at B Reactor changed the course of human history,” Jenkins said. “They went from sparsely populated ranching communities to the first packet of plutonium over the course of 18 months.”

Eventually, nine reactors were built at Hanford and operated during the Cold War to make plutonium for the U.S. nuclear arsenal. That work created more than 56 million gallons of radioactive waste that the government still spends more than $1 billion a year to maintain and clean up.

While details of the new national park are still being worked out, French said, the Energy Department will continue its tours of the B Reactor and the old town sites that began in 2009 and fill up with some 10,000 visitors a year.

The plan is to greatly expand the number of tourists and school groups who visit the site, she said.

Tours will occur from April to October, French said. Exhibits at the B Reactor include the exposed face of the reactor and the control room, where many visitors like to sit and be photographed at control panels, she said.

The Hanford story is far from over. Jenkins noted that thousands of scientists and other workers remain active on the Hanford site, inventing and implementing new techniques to clean up the massive volume of nuclear waste.

21Dec/1511:36 AM


20Dec/159:03 PM



San Diego - A young man from California, spent over $250,000 to organize over the weekend, the most spectacular wedding in the history of the popular computer game, Minecraft.

After his girlfriend said “yes” to his online proposal in January, 28-year Shawn Porter, decided to organize their wedding in the virtual world in which they had met, almost three years ago.

To accomplish this, he purchased thousands of in-game resources and items, to create an extremely lavish and extravagant ceremony, in a specially designed virtual landscape.

“I spent over 2000 hours and $250,000 to make it perfect, but it was totally worth it!” he told Geek magazine. “I hired a real pastor to perform the ceremony online and we both had some witnesses present, just like a real wedding. We invited dozens of our friends to the ceremony, and over 100 guests showed up. It was certainly the most incredible event in the history of Minecraft, and we are both extremely happy.”


The young couple now wants to get married in real life, but they don’t intend to spend nearly as much.

“We already had our dream wedding” says Cyndi Lewis. “It had the flowers, the nice dresses, the cake… everything! I’m already overjoyed, so the other wedding can be really sober and inexpensive.”

Virtual weddings are a new trend among video game adepts, and an increasing number of games now allow players to get married with each other. The debate about gay marriage has even transported itself in the gaming community, and many games have now authorized same-sex wedding.

According to Geek magazine, the couple’s virtual wedding is by far the most expensive ever recorded. The previous record was held by a Korean couple which had spent $85,000 on their wedding in 2013.

20Dec/158:25 PM

Schrodinger's Cat Tells All


FRANKFURT, GERMANY - The idea of Schrodinger's cat has long baffled scientists, entertained meme makers, and horrified animal rights' activists. But one thing puzzles the minds of all who have heard this famous tale:

Is Schrodinger's cat alive or dead?

Recently, Schrodinger's cat, after a 70+ year silence, has come out of the box, so to speak, and has revealed that Schrodinger is a nutcase and a jerk.

Whether or not the cat is alive or dead has nothing to do with whether or not you see the cat die. The cat dies when the hammer releases the acid, no matter if you see it or not.

"Schrodinger did not need to lock me in a box to figure that one out!" the distraught cat says.

Hillary Clinton also says, "If elected president, I will change Schrodinger's name to 'Idiot Catabuser'"

As usual though, it does nothing for her polls. Schrodinger's cat is also running for president now as well.

20Dec/158:18 PM

How To Talk To Your Child About Sex


It’s not easy to decide when and how to have a discussion with children about sex, and many parents wonder how explicit they should be or where to establish boundaries. Here are some tips for having “the talk” with your kids:

  • Avoid being too vague or abstract when explaining sexual acts by using examples from your own life.
  • Make sure your children are paying close attention to what you’re saying, as it will undoubtedly inform their future memoir.
  • It’s also constructive to highlight for your child all the healthy alternatives to sex, such as youth groups and proselytizing.
  • Be an open book. Go ahead and tell them about all three sex positions.
  • Emphasize that sex is, above all, a consensual act. These are great lessons your child will carry with them until Beta Delta Tau initiation night.
  • If in doubt, let Coach Michelson handle it.
  • Don’t be surprised if the same questions about sex come up again and again. Some children are just stupid.
  • Reassure your child that no matter what choices he or she makes, your love is unconditional, unlike everyone they will ever have sex with.
20Dec/158:11 PM

Satan Drunk Texts Donald Trump After Campaign Speech


Atlanta, GA (3:00 P.M. EST)–Leaked screenshots from Donald Trump’s phone reveal that Satan, man’s ultimate enemy and part-time barista, drunk texted the presidential candidate following his libelous claims against Muslims last week.

Satan–a former adviser to Trump during the protracted 2011 “Birther” movement–lost contact with Trump after a falling out last year stemming from a dispute over which of the two was more eternally damned.

“We’ve also been dealing with black & white selfies in addition to emotional ‘open letters’ addressed to ‘DT’ since the split,” said Trump Spokeswoman Katrina Pierson. “The Valentine’s Day card crossed the line.

The latest incident highlights a well-documented one-sided relationship that has publicly unfolded over the last four years.

Satan could not be immediately reached for comment.

20Dec/158:02 PM

Netanyahu: ‘Palestinians Killed The Dinosaurs’


Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed today that Palestinians were responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs.

In an interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper this morning, the hardline conservative leader was asked to defend his recent comments, in which he claimed Palestinians were responsible for the Holocaust.

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time they tried to drive a group to extinction,” Netanyahu told the network. “The Holocaust, the Armenian genocide, Rwanda. Even the end of the Dinosaurs. Whenever a group is threatened with annihilation, you better believe the Palestinians are behind it.”

A puzzled Anderson Cooper pressed Netanyahu on his most outrageous claim, asking “I doubt Palestinians were involved in any of those things. But do you seriously believe they killed the Dinosaurs? Human beings didn’t even exist 65 million years ago. And most scientists believe the Dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid. I mean, how is that even possible?”

“Anderson I’m not saying the Palestinians actually hunted down each individual dinosaur to extinction,” Netanyahu replied, “Of course that didn’t happen. That’s ridiculous. That makes no sense at all.

“What I am saying is that Palestinian Hamas fighters traveled back in time to 65 million years ago and set off a large series of explosives that knocked the Earth off its orbit and straight into the path of an oncoming asteroid.

“This operation was intended to wipe out the Dinosaurs, so that humanity could rise and Islam could take over the planet. Reptiles don’t believe in God, Anderson. So if you want to create an Islamic Caliphate you have to get rid of the reptiles. That’s just logic 101.

“This was no laughing matter. It was a barbaric act that destroyed an entire civilization. Millions of innocent Dinosaur families perished as a result of Hamas’s disgusting actions. Women. Children. Even unborn eggs. All were burnt to a crisp when Islamic time travelers rammed Earth into that asteroid.

“And that’s why keeping nuclear weapons out of the hands of Muslims is so important. They’ve destroyed life on Earth before, so we know they’ll do it again.”

Benjamin Netanyahu has served as Israel's Prime Minister since 2009, after previously serving in the same post from 1996 to 1999. He was recently reelected in March.

20Dec/157:57 PM

New Reality Show 'Florida Shore' Highlights Lives of Senior Community


The Hallmark Channel debuted its new reality program 'Florida Shore' yesterday morning.

The show, which highlights contemporary senior issues by following the lives of seven elderly Americans who share the same Boca Raton, Florida retirement community, airs during the 10:30am time slot between Golden Girls and Price is Right.

In the program's first episode, Dolores, a widow and former homemaker, dies.

Dolores's replacement, Myrtle, soon wears out her welcome after she is accused of cheating at cribbage, making her the unknowing target of her new neighbors' secret derision.

"She's so old, she's already got one foot in the grave," sneered co-star Ruth Witford, who is 2 years Margaret's elder, "I hear her first husband died in the war – though we haven't found out whether he fought for the North or South."

Florida Shore's producers indicate that modern healthcare, with all the issues and complications that surround it, will be a prominent theme of the show as each of its seven subjects is afflicted by some malady - ranging from Alzheimer's disease to incontinence caused by an unspecified bladder problem referred to by its owner Stanley Mortensen as 'the condition'.

"The condition that makes me excuse myself every half hour isn't anyone's business but my own," said Mortensen, "And not for nothing, but I'll take it over whatever Jerry's got. The man puts his dirty drawers in the icebox."

Yesterday's premiere episode concluded with the gang visiting a local Home Town Buffet, where they agreed that the baked fish was decent, but had too many bones, the dessert bar was too far from their table, and that the restaurant had obviously reduced the size of their plates, necessitating more 'back and forth'.

20Dec/157:50 PM

Nestle’s New “Air Plant” to Start Charging California Residents For Oxygen


Starting in March of 2016, residents of Redding, California will find a new charge on their municipal utility bills, one that already has some residents threatening to move: In a deal signed Friday, Nestlé will become the county’s sole provider of the very oxygen Redding residents breathe.

On Friday, Nestlé CEO Paul Bulcke signed a deal with Shasta County Air Quality Manager Ross Bell for the company to provide “air purification services” to the residents of the County, which includes the city of Redding. Residents will be charged approximately $0.53 per day for the service, which will automatically be tacked on to their monthly municipal water, trash, and sewer usage bill.

Nestlé broke ground on what they call the “Nestlé Air” plant, a $2.4 billion facility, in October of 2013, but water shortages led State legislators to insist the plant hold off on opening until March 1st of 2016. California Governor Jerry Brown signed an order last month which fast-tracked the new plant’s opening, guaranteeing Nestlé the State of California would “clear out the red tape” and allow the plant to open before January 1st of 2017.

The “air plant” has been hailed as a marvel of modern technology. It works by sucking in huge quantities of polluted air — upwards of 90 tons per day — through vents around the county, which feed into pipelines leading to the plant. Once it reaches Nestlé, the company separates the oxygen, carbon dioxide, and carbon monoxide. Large machines, called “scrubbers,” are able to extract the oxygen from carbon dioxide and monoxide and blend it in with the unpolluted oxygen processed by the plant, before pumping 70% of the freshly-cleaned oxygen out through separate pipelines and back into the county.

Why is Nestlé only returning 70% of the processed air, you ask? Bulcke says the remaining 30% is a part of the deal his company reached with California. “The air we process, we’re calling that `Nestlé Air,’ and every resident of Shasta County will soon be enjoying this revolutionary new product. But we wanted this to reach more people, too. So we’re going to start bottling Nestlé Air later this year, to be distributed nationally. Once people see the quality of our product, we’re confident they won’t want to get their air anyplace else.”

To the naysayers who say Nestlé’s act of bottling air, and water for that matter, are almost criminal in nature, Bulcke believes his company is providing a much-needed service. “Look, nobody can tell us that what we’re doing isn’t good for people. We’re making lives better. Humans don’t have a right to water, and they absolutely don’t have a right to air, either. Yes, we’re the first company to understand the market potential of oxygen. Why should we apologize for that? No one criticized Thomas Edison for bringing electricity to the world, did they?

“This is more than just a product to us. It’s a service to the human race. Free, clean, breathable air for every human isn’t a right, nor should it be. That would interfere with our right, as a corporation, to make an honest living for ourselves. If these fascist eco-terrorists want to strip away our rights, too bad. We’ll fight back, because this is America, and America is all about freedom.”

20Dec/157:31 PM

Report: Distracted Driving Results In More Than 5,000 Unfinished Texts Each Year


WASHINGTON—Describing the findings as “deeply troubling,” the U.S. Department of Transportation released a report Tuesday revealing that the growing epidemic of distracted driving is responsible for more than 5,000 unfinished text messages a year.

“Far too often, drivers concentrating on their phones instead of the road lose control of their vehicles and get into accidents, tragically cutting short the messages they were attempting to type,” Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx said of the report, which reviewed six years’ worth of gruesome automobile crashes that ended the texts of the drivers involved.

“Of all these messages that were lost, many were very brief and still had many more words to go. Now, we will never know what they might have said, or where they might have been sent. Their abrupt, mid-sentence endings were both sad and unnecessary.”

The report strongly urged citizens to avoid texting while driving, noting that distracted drivers aren’t just putting their own texts at risk, but also those of their passengers and other drivers.

20Dec/155:35 PM

Smoking Marijuana Could Help Fight Global Warming, Says Study


Paris | Smoking cannabis could reduce the progression of global warming according to a recent study by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

The group of experts reiterated their position this week during the COP 21 Paris Conference that “smoking cannabis could be one of the most effective ways to combat global warming”.

“Recent studies have shown that THC transforms the molecule of carbon dioxide (CO2) into oxygen” says California-based IPCC molecular biologist, Steven Johnson.

“All that is lacking is a political will by governments to encourage people to smoke cannabis, as often as possible, at a very early age and in large quantities,” he said during the Paris Conference.


The climate skeptics refuse to believe

Several climate skeptics and self-proclaimed “experts” of climate change challenge the study’s conclusions.

“Like smoking pot is going to solve all of our problems?” lashed out Cincinnati-based radio host and well-known climate change denier, John Adams, yesterday on the airwaves.

“Climate change believers are like a sect! They are ready to believe anything they’re told! The so-called experts of the IPCC are clearly stoned out of their minds to produce scientific conclusions as insane as this” he expressed, visibly furious.

Environmentalists happy

Several environmental groups have been pleasantly surprised by the news.

“It’s good to know I can add a new weapon to my arsenal to fight against global warming,” explains University of Berkley student and environmental activist, Tommy Wilson.

“I already smoke at least one ounce with my roommate each week, but if it’s what we have to do to help Mother Nature, we’re ready to smoke a pound a month,” he admits with conviction.

“It will not be too good for my studies, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for future generations,” he confessed to our reporter.

Present at the 21st Conference on Climate Change this week, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau also confirmed his commitment to making the legalization of cannabis the “iron spear” of Canada’s commitment to fight global warming.

20Dec/155:24 PM



COLUMBUS, OH | A young woman from Ohio claims she found herself pregnant after using a faulty vibrator.

The young woman of 28 years claims she has fallen victim to a mechanical failure of the device that was recently bought off the internet.

“I was starting to get familiar with my new toy when it made a strange noise and then it started shaking like crazy,” remembers the now mother to be.

“It felt like I had a rabbit in between my legs! I managed to take it out as it was spurting lubricating gel all over the place” she recalls, still shaken by the incident. “Four days later, I found myself pregnant! In a way, it’s a good thing because my boyfriend is sterile and we were talking about adoption for some time,” she admits, obviously surprised by the turn of events.

A comprehensive spouse

Anthony Welch, the spouse of the victim, admits he was devastated by the news at first, but quickly managed to assume his responsibilities.

“My reaction was to think at first that she had cheated on me, but when she told me that her vibrator was possibly defective, I released a sigh of relief,” he told reporters.

“We were not expecting this, but God acts in mysterious ways,” he admits.

A possible lawsuit

The couple could possibly sue the company at the origin of the defective product.

“Of course we did not anticipate in our budget to raise a child. I think that the least that the company could do is help out financially to cover the needs of our future child. It is as much our kid as it it is theirs,” honestly believes the young woman.

“There are people in the family of my spouse who wanted me to pass a DNA test, but why would I need a DNA test? We already know what it is that clearly got me pregnant,” she acknowledges, visibly furious. “I know that this is a particular situation, but we have to be grownups and get over it”.

A spokesman of the Chinese-based company refutes all allegations that their lubricating gel is to blame for the pregnancy but offered to reimburse the defective product.

20Dec/155:21 PM

Mikhail Gorbachev: “USSR was Behind Roswell UFO Incident”


MOSCOW | A recent interview on Russian National Public Television (ВГТРК) took a strange turn of events when Mikhail Gorbachev, the former leader of the Soviet Union, compared the US-financed insurgency of the mujahideen in Afghanistan, that led to the fall of the former soviet union, to Stalin’s alleged psychological warfare operation also known as the Roswell UFO incident.

During the 56 minute-long interview, which some experts believe could be Gorbachev’s last interview due to failing heart problems, the former leader of the Soviet Union reviewed the main events of his political career as the last Soviet leader before the dissolution of the USSR in 1991 but also tackled once classified events that even the Russian public is mostly unaware of.

“The United States still boast themselves of the fall of the USSR by financing the mujahideen that they are now fighting and have spread to Iraq and Syria and that call themselves ISIS, but even today few people in the world know, even Russian citizens do not know that the Roswell UFO incident in 1947 was a psychological warfare operation on the American people that lasts unto today” he told a surprised interviewer.


The founding grounds of the modern Space Race

Asked what he meant by “psychological warfare operation against the American people”, Gorbachev explained the discovery of the fake alien craft to make Americans believe that space travel was possible and lead the American government into an elaborate «Space Race».

“We even faked Yuri Gagarin’s flight into space” he admits, visibly eager to share this information. “I hope not to deceive my fellow comrades by saying this, but it was a necessary means at the time to entice the Americans into an expensive Space Race to deplete and divert strategic resources from the American economy and particularly, its military-industrial complex.”

Roswell: Stalin’s top-secret project

Gorbachev claims the top-secret project started under Stalin but was continued by the KGB under successive USSR governments because of its success.

“NASA scientists have known since the time of JFK that space flight was impossible, the radiation levels are too intense beyond the earth’s magnetic field,” he explained.

“They faked the Apollo moon landings although I suspect the truth was hidden from the president until his premature death,” he added. “No other country has landed on the moon since 1973, not even the Americans, but they are now talking about colonizing mars, this is just a bluff. It will never happen and they fully know that, although only top officials are aware of the truth,” he admitted during the interview.


“I am an old man. I will turn 85 next March. I have survived two strokes and I have spent my summer in the hospital. I have also survived the cold war,” he said laughingly. “I am not scared of anyone, not even death, ” he also warned in a more serious tone.

“Many former Russian politicians and ex-KGB members have known about these things for a long time, I think it’s time we talk about these things,” he concluded. « Russia should not invest its time and energy in an expensive and fruitless effort to colonize the moon” he explained, talking about Russia’s proposed manned lunar exploration program set for 2030.

Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev was the eighth and last leader of the Soviet Union, having served as Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet from 1988 to 1989, as Chairman of the Supreme Soviet from 1989 to 1990, and as President of the Soviet Union from 1990 to 1991 when the party was officially dissolved.

20Dec/155:12 PM



Atlanta| A man was arrested this morning in the Georgian capital, for the murders of 27 people over the last two years.

54 year-old Michael Rodriguez is accused of killing 23 women and 4 men, slaying at least one victim per month since December 2013.

According to the police, the accused seemed to regularly feel the urge to kill and would attack anyone he saw as vulnerable to satisfy his thirst for blood.

“He seems to have literally been addicted to killing,” said Captain Jerry Woodson.“He says he heard voices telling him to kill people, and that they would sometimes become unbearable, until he finally killed someone. Like many serial killers, he visibly suffers from mental problems.”

According to his ex-wife, who divorced him in February 2015, the date at which the murders began, coincides with Mr Rordiguez’s heart transplant operation. She says that his personality changed dramatically after he got his new heart, and that the operation is responsible for his actions.

“He was a peaceful and charming man before his transplant,” claims Michelle Gonzales, “but after he got his new heart, he became quick-tempered, and he seemed obsessed with weapons and hunting. He bought some guns and knives, and began killing everything from rabbits to bears. I didn’t recognize the man I had married and I decided to leave. I knew he had become more aggressive, but I never thought that he had become such a monster. This is all due to the heart they gave him, it’s evil!”

The identity of organ donor is often kept secret, but the police investigators were given access to Mr. Rodriguez’s file. They discovered that the organ donor was a convicted serial killer named Dereck Emery, who was executed by the state in 2013.


Mr Rodriguez’ crimes could be linked to a strange secondary effect of organ transplants, called the cell memory phenomenon. While still not considered 100 percent scientifically-validated, is still supported by several scientists and physicians. and many transplanted people have reported feeling such effects.

The behaviors and emotions acquired by the recipient from the original donor are due to the combinatorial memories stored in the neurons of the organ donated. Heart transplants are said to be the most susceptible to cell memory where organ transplant recipients experienced a change of behavior.

An Austrian study published in the journal of Quality of Life Research, showed that 79 percent of patients of heart transplants did not feel that their personality changed post-surgery, while 15 percent experienced a moderate change change in personality, and six percent did confirm a drastic change in their personality due to their new heart.